After a great deal of thought and research, I have decided to offer Bella a home with another dog.  I've had to think of what is best for Bella, and not what is best for me.  

Bella has been coming out of her shell slowly, but in my home she has spent the vast majority of her time in the corner of my bedroom.  The experts I have consulted have all felt that another dog is the best way to go.  She needs canine companionship and leadership.  She needs to learn to be a dog.

I tried her with a puppy, and with 3 adult Bernese boys.  She did the best with the adult Berners.  Yesterday, I packed up her bed, her medical records and her food and let her go to her new home with Joan.  Joan kindly brought her friendly boy, Ozzie so that the two dogs would begin their bonding in the car ride back to her home.  

I shed a few tears, and held Bella's face in my hands as I said good-bye.  I am hoping that this sweet dog will continue to heal with her new friend.

Today Lisa came again with her handsome Bernese boy.  She brought a friend with another winsome Bernese fellow.  After visiting with Bella in my room, we three ladies went outdoors with Bella.  Lisa brought out her dog, Dante.  Bella was not afraid, and even a little interested.  After a short while, Lisa's friend, Joan, brought her boy out.  Ozzie was very affectionate toward Bella and even licked her ear several times in between investigating her in all sorts of places.  Bella wasn't terribly responsive, except with her eyes.  Her eyes were big, liquid and soft brown-wider than I'd ever seen them.  She watched my face, she watched Lisa's face, and she even checked out newcomer, Joan.  She  frequently returned her gaze to my face to study me.  

The three of us, that is the six of us, spent about an hour together in the beautiful early fall sun.  Bella showed some concern, but also interest.  Although there were times when she wanted to go back inside, no doubt to her safe place on her bed in my room, her eyes were also gleaming more brightly than I have seen them before.  How would you feel if two handsome suitors showed up at your door and vied for your attention?  

Ozzie has  a large fenced yard where he lives with Joan.  He is interested in company while Joan is away at work.  I am sure that he was whispering invitations in Bella's ear.  After a satisfying visit, and a little tour around the yard, I let Bella return to her safe place.  Did the special brightness in her eyes portend her awareness of new possibilities?  Would she enjoy the companionship of her own kind?  Surely a chance to romp with a friend would be preferable to days spent in the corner of my room.  Bella, can you tell me what you want?  Were you telling me with your bright, open, shiny eyes?

Bella continues to make slow, incremental changes.  Unfortunately, she is also subject to setbacks.  It's hard to fine tune her challenges to the right measure of new and different without being too anxiety provoking.  Today she seems like she wants to lay low.  She is panting in a slow, steady way  as she lies on her bed in my room.  On Thursday I think I went too far.  It wasn't the bath on Wednesday, it was the hour in the living room while another person was there.  She paced and wanted to get back to her corner, never settling down.  Today I'll give her the day off.  

Anyone entering Bella's life now will meet a dog without a mean bone in her body; a soft, pretty girl with deep, expressive eyes, and a reluctance to try new things.  Walks remain quite short, but eating and the functioning of the opposite end are just fine.  She likes to eat, but still prefers to do it in her room.  Aside sniffing out the ever popular easter egg hunt of treats after I am in bed, Bella stays in her/my room when it is up to her.  

I have come to the conclusion that this is how it is likely to continue.  With great gentleness and care, Bella will make very small advances toward becoming a socialized dog.  I believe that the company of another dog, or dogs who are kind to her and accustomed to humans would make a big difference.  

Ok, it's time.  You are just too greasy.  I know you're afraid, but we've got to do it.

Not far from me is No Barks About It.  For a reasonable price they offer a self-serve doggie bath station with warm water.  Having made up my mind, I load Bella into the car with my friend, and pet sitter, Valerie.  We take her the short 4 miles to No Barks About It.  Although I have to lift her into the car, and then lift her into the dog bath tub, Bella is cooperative and surprisingly calm.  When I lift her, she is dead weight.  She doesn't try to run away but she sure isn't going to help me go the direction I am bringing her.  In the car she is much better than I thought she would be.  She sits still and does a little panting but shows none of the panic I'd seen in the first couple of rides I took with her.  I secure Bella in the car with a special short dog cord that clicks into the the seatbelt.  I think she understands leashes and things that click in because she doesn't fight them.  Under the warm water she stands still and doesn't pant.  Maybe being massaged with warm, soapy water by two devoted attendants isn't so terrible after all. Or maybe she senses my determination and figures resistance is futile.  Later Bella seems to feel liberated.  She takes a perky, longish walk without pulling.  Being clean is good, even when you're a dog.

Oh, and on the evening that preceded the bath,  Bella gave me one of her tentative, slow motion tail tip wags!

Last night, Circe, my brave black cat, approached Bella once again.  She wandered over toward Bella, very nonchalantly, as Bella was sniffing around her water bowl, probably scanning for a missed treat.  As I watched, Bella turned and planted a well aimed nose in Circe's butt and sniffed.  Then, with a studied lack of concern, Circe wandered away. 

A small remark from Circe is what made me look up from my book to witness this moment.  She often makes a chirpy mew when she is investigating something of interest.  I have the hope that I am seeing the very beginnings of a friendship between Circe and Bella.  Tonight I'll be sure to have my camera near by.

I've observed that Bella responds better to calm adult dogs than she does to puppies.  She doesn't want a boisterous dog harassing her, but rather a dog that gives her space.  Several people who know a lot about dogs have suggested that a male dog would be a wiser choice than a female for Bella.  So that narrows the search to a calm, adult, male dog.  A gentle boy who understands that a girl needs to make her own choices.   This lovely lady might enjoy a companion.   Is there a dating site for dogs?  How would the ad read?  Wanted: a kindly, low key kind of guy who has lived a little, but still has a lot to give.  No one pushy, or rambunctious, just a goodly fellow who enjoys long walks by the lake, a nice chew, and maybe, if things work out, side by side doggie beds.  

It was out of the corner of my eye.  I saw my elegant and mischievous feline, Circe, wander up to Bella and sniff her.  I am not sure if Circe wanted to make sure that Bella didn't have something good in that water bowl that she might like to partake of, or whether it just seemed like another opportune moment to cop a sniff.  Either way, as Circe turned away to leave the room, Bella moved her big head slowly toward Circe and sniffed her butt!  This was the first time Bella has ever responded to Circe!  My jaw dropped open and I felt something warm filling me.  Hope.  Bella is finally emerging.  Did the stimulation of the visiting Bernese help open her up?  Or is it just that I have been paying a lot of attention to her today?  By waiting to see if Bella would come to me have I made her feel ignored?  Perhaps my approach has been all wrong.  Or it is simply that she is now ready for more.  No matter.  I'm onto a new plan, now.  Bella, you are going to be getting more touch, more challenge, and, at Lisa's suggestion, more food.

This morning Lisa came with her very well trained Bernese boy.  I brought Bella outdoors to meet him, and she was fine with it!  She even sniffed him a few times, acting perky, unafraid and even a little bit interested.  We were able to walk our dogs, in a new direction outside of Bella's OCD route.   Sometimes Bell pulled to go home, but when she saw that I wasn't yielding, she adapted and seemed to enjoy the walk.  Maybe I'm part of the problem after all!  I have been too solicitous toward Bella, often feeling sorry for her.  Lisa suggested two practices for Bella, both of which we did today.  One is to walk on a different route every other day, and the second is to keep Bella from going back to her safe place for an hour each day.  Bella will need to become braver.  For me, the practice is to be upbeat.  So game on! 

​Bella needs a dog.  She needs the right dog.

Today Queenie's owner dropped her off for an extended visit at 7:30 am.  Queenie was sweet, and cooperative and curious, like you might expect from a puppy with a good home.  I tried a few things to see if Bella would interact with her.  Outside of specific efforts, I let Queenie wander freely in the house during the seven hours she was here.  Sometimes she chose to be with me, experimenting with laying down next to me.  More often, however, she chose to stay in the foyer, as if patiently awaiting her owner's return.  The patience was illusory, and easily interrupted by attempts to sample the cat food on the table, and efforts to see if the cardboard I put down to soak the water off damp paws was edible.

Queenie seemed to know to give Bella some space.  Although she approached Bella's bed (which Bella never left except when I put her leash on her for a walk) Queenie left a respectful foot between herself and the edge of the bed.  I offered treats to Queenie and Bella in Bella's room.  As before, Queenie accepted enthusiastically.  Bella acted concerned and a bit reluctant.  She accepted the treats from me in slow motion, and sometimes would not take them from my hand, in what seemed like a sort of regression.  I dropped those treats in front of her and she ate them when I turned away. 

In Queenie's presence, Bella mostly looked at me.  I imagined a faint accusation in her face, or at least a worried inquiry.  Sometimes she glanced at Queenie doubtfully.  Later in the day, I took Bella on a walk.  She cooperatively got up from her bed when I put the leash on her, again in a sort of slow motion, and moved cautiously down the hall with me to the front door.  In the foyer, I snapped Queenie's leash on her, too, and tried to give her enough rope not to crowd Bella.  Queenie sniffed Bella's hind end a few times, and looked at her expectantly.  Bella, however, kept her nose low and focused on the business at hand.  A quick march up the road, business, then a quick march back, Queenie or no Queenie.  

While there was very little interaction between the dogs, with the limit on Bella's side, the cats had a strong opinion about Queenie.  Imja spent the entire visit in the box high up on their cat tree.  Braver Circe made several halloween cat postures, and then decided to ignore Queenie with great dignity, making a show of her refusal to alter her routines.  

So, I am sorry to say, I once again succumbed to disappointment.  Bella seems like she is under water.  Somewhere in there is a dog, or at least I think so.  I am calling into a tunnel, hello, hello, are you there?

My friend, Elisabeth, arrived with a smile on her face and something hidden behind her back.  She wanted to visit Bella, to which I agreed, and headed back to the bedroom, present in hand, along with a cheery greeting.  Elisabeth is certain that Bella will respond to her love, and determined to make friends.  She showed Bella the bone, and described its virtues-yummy, stinky, messy and very good.  After waving it teasingly under Bella's nose and offering the instruction to Bella that she enjoy it, Elisabeth left it about six feet from Bella near her water bowl.  Bella eyed her with concern.  Elisabeth rejoined me in the living room so that we could talk.  I was a bit concerned.  Elisabeth wants nothing to do with the recommendation to avoid eye contact with Bella.  She is all about warmth, and enthusiasm and being undaunted by sadness.  Nevertheless, some 15 minutes later, we heard crunch, crunch, crunch.  Sure enough, Bella had retrieved the bone and followed instructions.  By the time we had finished our talk, the only traces of the big, smelly bone were tiny specks here and there that dappled Bella's bed.  Thank-you, Elisabeth!