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Spiritual Self-Inquiry
Leslie Ihde LCSW, 15 Oakcrest Rd., Ithaca, NY  607.754.1303

Ups and Downs

5/7/2019

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For a few days, I have been feeling discouraged.  Although Bella has begun sleeping on her bed, she has also been panting a lot.  I haven't know whether this is because the Tempur Pedic bed retains heat, or because she has been anxious.  My guess is anxiety.  If another person comes into her room, her panting increases.  She has been panting with me, too, which hurt my feelings a little.  (I'm being silly, I know.)  I had to change the blanket on her bed because it was damp.  

I was also discouraged because Bella has been inconsistent about accepting a treat from my hand. Once or twice, she even turned away.  But last night there was no panting.  She slept silently.  And this morning it took 3 minutes instead of 6 for her to stand up and come off of her bed to eat her breakfast.  She took 4 treats from my hand, one after another.  (Of course, I put my hand on the floor right in front of her nose.)  She rewarded me with many little butterfly kisses as she gently took one treat after another with her soft lips.  Each offering was interspersed with periods of petting.

I think it has helped to follow my veterinary school friend's advice.  I approach Bella from the side, looking down.  I have to remember that each time I interact with Bella, I need to initiate the contact gently and indirectly.  Although I go in and out of our room for various reasons daily, Bella is not yet ready for me to be casual with touch and movement.  She sometimes pants when she sees me getting dressed, or simply changing my sweater.  I feel better about Bella's progress when I review these blog notes- it helps keep Bella's many micro-gains in mind.  If you are following this blog, you might wonder why I would feel discouraged at all given the many little advances, but 90% of the time Bella is lying in the corner of my bedroom, withdrawn.  I hope I am witnessing her slow birth to a world of tiny wonders.
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    please note:

    This page is not professional, and has nothing to do with the rest of my website.  I'm writing as Bella's mommy,  just for fun.   Perhaps this blog will be helpful to others  working with former puppy mill dogs. 

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